OH LAWD, THE UNIVERSE IS SHATTERING AND TEETERING WHILE BEING RIPPED APART BY THE BLACKHOLE THAT IS KNOWN AS FACEBOOK. MY SOUL IS BEING SHREDDED AFTER IT'S BEEN STAPLED TO MY FACE.
The Meta Meter (TM) has been going haywire, and lately, the homoerotic level in San Francisco/LA has been at level orange. You know, more so than the gay pride that characterizes two cities known for men with impeccably groomed eyebrows. Men who wear Heelys unironically and glide around Facebook's Cafeteria (FBTM) with their lunchtrays like a pheasant trying to fly. In vain. In the middle of winter. Naked.
We are all going to die by the hands of this man-child's neckbeard. And the Hadron Collider being turned on soon. It will happen three weeks from now. Marcel Georgès Laverdet II, Esquire, Professor of LULZ (not to be confused with LOLS or LOLLERCOPTERS or ROFLWAFFLES), hath predicted our death and destruction.
I should never try to date anyone for the rest of my life and get myself to a nunnery ASAP. My fondness for spooning will be the end of me.
If I'm still alive in 3 weeks, it means that the Sun will totally explode and melt us all by week 4.
Karma's a bitch.
